Stumbling into Multiplicity with the Gothic

Days have passed and I am still stuck with my paper. But whenever I find back my zone I thrive at the solitude and the eeriness which I often have neglected due to work, friends and sometimes even in dates.
Julia Round I use the as my main reference text


Just then It occurred to me that people often think of dead, death, supernatural and the unknown when talking about the Gothic. But I also realized that it is the best zone for writers to write -- the zone of troubles, and despair. I then realized that where there is rotting and decay, there can still be life..

Meeting Emily in the Moors

#TheEmilyBronteTribute




I've come across many books that touches the darkest side of the human soul and the Gothic; still, my personal taste tells me nothing yet compares to Emily Brontë​'s one and only novel, Wuthering Heights--maybe because of Catherine and Heathcliff’s powerfully doomed characters or because of their eternal bond that surpasses this life and defies the next,  that I always find myself re-reading the book.



A Ranging Mind and a Loss for Words

I'm sorry, lately I have had lots of free time but never have I made a sensible good number of posts. The spaces and the repetitive rituals of the days seem to murmur sooooo many things. The windows are open and my thoughts simple just rush to and fro the sills leading me towards oblivion.

Seriously, I should entertain more positive thoughts and bright hopes but nature pulls me back to my pessimism. They taste so crunchy in my brain that I love to munch through the negative "what ifs and nots"

There was a time when worry did not use to kill me. But now, heavens knows how to stop them from getting overboard.

I'm at loss for words on trying to grasp the entire ordeal my mind wages day by day. I want to write about them but the specific word do not come. I want to take note of them but my hands are shaky and my thoughts have already reach a height were my hands cannot catch up.

It's a pity having to go through this again and again. Time and time again the cycle repeats........ "and the pattern never alters, until the rat dies." 

Ch- Ch- Changes

It's high time for change, but change refuses to give itself freely to me. There are battles I have to win every now and then just to see me do something different. Perhaps, that's why many people dream of change and yet remain the same.



What is a promise to oneself: never to commit to an act that shouldn't be and yet fall off the chair, dwindling down to taste the sweet flavor of its temptation?

What is a resolve that gets defeated barely halfway to the battlefield?

What is a "YES" when just before leaving one entertains doubt? 


Pura Vida Potpurri !! :)


10 Facts About Me

► Name: Sarah Elizabeth N. Allen            
► Birth place:  Iligan City
► Hair color: copper red
► Age: 24
► Eye Color: hazel brown
► Birthday: Jan 20
► Gender: F
► Lefty or Righty: Righty with an orientation of Left

When Life Makes A Doormat Out of You

Pain, the more people try to talk you out of it the more it hurts. If at one point it seems you have just gotten through the elements of despair there goes another tease and it pulls you back where you once started. The thing is you will never be free until you’ve let yourself go and stop being that ‘doormat’ people keep stepping on. Your voice becomes unheard. You simply say yes. You cry in your bed at night hoping you would just die because the people around you wants you to just $#%*^@! OBEY. ( excuse my language but cursing helps relieve the anger.)

There is a time to be nice;  yes. But there are certain things one has to act consciously not to seem as if you are totally agreeing with one person. It’s a totally different story when one goes crying and immediately saying yes in surrender than one who gets to explain and fight for their side.

True. A guardian’s  or a master’s care wants you to keep of the tracks of danger. They do not want you to get wet in the rain but regardless life never thrown us here to just follow what others have done. Life threw us here so that we might discover how unique we are from one another. Until we understand that we never are going to get out of our shell. Some of us die inside never getting the chance to come out. 

You have to eventually get out that protective raincoat if you want to enjoy the rain and get sick as you may be but what the hell! Thing is you got to experience rain. 


So, stop being a doormat. Stop being that ‘obedient’ little kid people think you are. You’re an adult now so live up to what you think is best for you and self-discovery. It’s a scary path but once you make that first step out you’ll find your other foot will follow, leading you to place where you are supposed to be. 

Story of Lament (Link)

Check out my latest story at:

http://eclecticatmasstories.blogspot.com/2014/04/the-story-of-lament.html

and please feel free to comment and give feedback. 

of the Dead and Dreary

Curiously enough today was a bit weird. Thoughts and ideas naturally get inside my head but seldom do ideas of death and decay comes to mind while i'm sitting in a crowded room waiting for my transaction to be entertained.

It happened all so suddenly when some old lady went entered the door, took a claim slip and asked for a priority number. Since the small space was already crowded with people she tried to squeeze in beside us who were also waiting for our turn.  I was now sandwhiched between two older women the other a little grubby and that woman, casually dressed but was decent enough to sit with.

I tend to tilt my head and slouch my back whenever I wait. And by instinct usually I prefer leaning towards the better person beside me. and PaH!.. something was weird.. i smelled that awful scent of death in her.  T________________________T 
God of all heavens just make me disappear. 
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INSPIRATIONS OUT OF MISERY

Once someone said, the feeling of pain is a form of blessing. 
With that you bleed. With that you could feel.  With that you know: You're Human.


image not mine....(though I wish I were given one.)
just a simple tribute to  my loss. -_- 


I GOT SO MANY WRITING/REFLECTION STUFF  RUSHING IN....

Question is.. which one to do first...?? -_____-

Mandala Relief

No matter what many sects think. I believe there is great wisdom in the art of making mandalas. It does not give you direct answers to questions you've been asking for so long but it tells you of one thing--- that there is the center. It is were the great eye dwells and somehow in that eye you will see yourself reflected in it.
As the eyes show the soul of a person, so does the center of the mandala show order in the midst of the ever-changing patterns of life. 

left: side-stripped poem
right: 3rd mandala art 101 

Of Doodles and Hearts :P

fun art hand doodle <3
“While sitting on a rickety, old, bamboo couch I noticed it was nearing sunset. I told him (with a big smile),  "it's almost the golden hour." He just smiled and simply stared at the glistening sky towering above the rusty, old roof of the nearby boarding house and played with his pen (as he usually does).

Taking on the Backseat of Me :)


Maybe because most of my life people kept on placing me as/on pedelstals that right now I find myself relaxing in backseat of the worlds affairs...
  

Mother of Dragons


Being a Mother of Dragons is never an easy task. 

Teaching your fiery 'kids' to feed on flesh is one thing and it's another case to teach them not to drool over your people. Apart from that, your kids are big gems for those who've never seen a living dragon. Just like the people of Qath, lusting for the power of Fire.

I love Daenerys Targaryen so much. That's why I just made this rough sketch after reading a book from the Song of Fire and Ice Saga.

Life Update: Writer's Block :(

Bugger. It's been over a month or so since I've updated my blog.  I'm currently experiencing writer's block and it's awful. I just couldn't write the stuff I want to write on paper. Ideas just keep floating in my head but the words just doesn't dawn upon me. :( 
  
For lack of inspiration, ideas or a very busy student-teacher life,  I can't seem to write things down and this is basically why I'm now complaining. 

So in the meantime I'm doomed with words I'll be posting some stuff I made. At least this will keep my blog alive (a bit) T.T. Pray words will come back.  
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Living in a Two Faced World: Character Review and Thoughts


Having an ugly, despicable, grotesque kind countenance speaks more truth than a damned, twisted soul dressed in beauty.... 

Those words basically sum up the entire aftermath feeling I go through once I've come to the last page of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde by R.L.Stevenson. It reminds me so much of epic characters like Gollum/Smeagol, Dr. Frankenstein, Dorian Grey, and  Edgar Allan Poe's characters, etc. who lived double lives to shush up their considerably selfish, twisted souls. 



Most people call Hyde and Jekyll's case schizophrenia but I don't think anyone could sum up that experience to a mere biological disease. His shifts in countenance was more dug down deep towards his soul.

Semesteral Wrap Up

Finally the sem has ended. I mean I just submitted grades and hopefully, my students will smile with what they will see. But those are for the students who made efforts to do their tasks. For the record, I'm basically very lenient as a teacher, that is for this batch and for an English 3 course.  So there are no reasons whatsoever to fail in this subject because LOL it's an oral comm. class.

Sad to say, there are really those who are just too lazy to even lift a finger. Obviously their grades have permanently settled at the bottom of the cliff nearing six feet beneath the ground.   Like this guy here:  digging his grave (grade) instead of climbing on top (not to mention sleeping on a good day)...

Witty Students and A Happy Teacher

the messy table where the red ink spills
So I was checking papers, practically wrapping up what's left of the semester (I can't wait for this job to be done).  seriously being a teacher is not easy from papers, lesson plans and appearances that you make every day it takes so much energy in you that by the end of the day you're dead tired even if you only had just two class a day. How much more an entire week of full scheduled teaching. 

Anyway, now back to checking papers. I was giving grades for one assignment which they submitted. Basically it was an easy assignment--a checklist and a very short essay about how daily conversations become essential  for us individuals.   I particularly told them not to make their answers so long to lessen their agony as medical students (well you know, they are more science than language majors so the general idea is that they find a hard time explaining things in words and paper especially when it is essay).  

Basically, my two Oral Communication classes had practically gave the same answer in a very short short and only a few answers did impress me well  here goes:

When Life's a Drag

"..people have the tendency to dump on you." --  Simon and Garfunkel (The Big Bright Green Pleasure Machine)

 me in MS paint


No matter how hard you try to improve yourself to be a better person,  there are still those people who can provoke our day to day moods without even trying that hard.

11:11 Reflection


The youthful love affair will eventually die down. Sweet messages turn regular, not every piece of step or activity is carefully reported to you, temper tantrums begin, and extreme mood swings erupt.  You both talk of day to day living, nothing romantic. You both talk of problems and work  and how it is to be the next day. 


Basically all these stuff seem platonic and non magical. A teenage love affair would never like that. However, later on you'll realize, it's because you've known each other so well that instead of crowning each other with sweets, cakes and hearts you cover each other with your comfort, support, and most of all love. That's when you realize the real essence of being together it's relationship unlike the Knight in Shining Armor Protecting Miss Damsel in Distress but rather it's teamwork, partnership: how you both work together to create harmony in a chaotic real world.